Dear Becky,
How are you today? I know getting the kids out the door can feel like a war zone with the Greatest Showman soundtrack in the background, but you’re doing great! Did you know you don’t have to be perfect? Do you know that showing your children your imperfections and shortcomings while also showing them your humility and love can teach them more in one moment than all your moments of perfection combined? Ponder that for a moment...and then cut yourself some slack and rock that 3 day old messy bun, Girl!
Anyhow, as I was working this week, I did a funny thing. I gave myself verbal permission to rework a piece I’d already labelled complete. I actually spoke it out loud. I needed to hear it with my ears so that it might reach my heart. Laugh if you want--I love when you laugh. But here’s the really funny part: there wasn’t a single thing I didn’t like about that previous image. Not one. In fact, the image made me more satisfied than I’ve been in a long while. Why? Because I was scared to make it and I did it anyway. I don’t know that anyone else really knows how much of a weenie I truly am, but you do. You know, Becky. You know how my internal dialogue says that all these wacky off-the-wall ideas that float around in my head are not fit to show the world. You know that my head is filled with all sorts of lies and shame about these nonsensical oddities I think up. And you know that I have to wrestle them back with every image I create. But when this image popped into my head, I committed to it with my whole heart. And I’m so glad I did. Like many of my artworks, I labored over it for longer than I wanted to--wondering if I was even going the right direction. But it sure came together, didn’t it? Actually, it was even better than I saw it in my imagination! But now it was asking me to be reborn.
You see, my process usually starts with some odd fascination begging to be explored. However, sometimes after working these fascinations into an image, the image will ask for my attention again. Seems kind of funny, right? I agree, but don’t be afraid to work it through a second or third time. I challenge you to think of these early inspirations as more than just fascinations, Becky. They are invitations--invitations to linger longer and process the groaning of your heart and work on a spiritual level. Even with the most satisfying of images, I am frequently invited back into that space to explore further or even just rework them as an exercise in creative expression. These repetitions should not be overlooked or dismissed as pointless or redundant. Do you know how many times Claude Monet painted his waterlilies? 250 times. I’ll say that again. 250 times...that we know of! These fascinations strengthen and solidify your skills and help you develop new ones. In the same way a blank canvas presents an endless challenge to tell a new story in the same space, let those explorations challenge you to deepen the well in which you draw from. I believe this sort of repetition is vital to the training of the mind as well as the skill and cultivation of greater creativity. For in each session, you train yourself to trust and stretch your creative instincts, and by doing so you stamp new pathways to the secret place. This my thin space, Becky. The “thin space” is a term Celtic Mystics use to describe a narrowing distance between the Holy and the human. Have you experienced this, Becky? I challenge you to trust your creative instincts. Allow them to lead you to the secret place and then thin space. After all, you will never know where they come from or what they mean unless you are willing to linger longer.
Your Friend,
Lauren